Ha! Husbands’ Day!
A lesser known day celebrated the world over is Husbands’ Day. I am not sure about the date…some say it’s October 15, while others say it’s April 15. Irrelevant! Any day could be Husbands’ Day. So, in this short piece, I dedicate my thoughts and words to the uneasiness of the head that wears the crown of husband.
Wicked things have been said about husbands. “Husbands are like fires. They go out when unattended.” This is the warning that most mothers whisper to their daughters on their wedding day.
How wrong! Look at it from the man’s perspective. “A woman who takes her husband about with her everywhere is like a cat that goes on playing with a mouse long after she’s killed it.”
Who is a husband? A premature baby in a big man’s body – is how a friend describes her husband.
I beg to differ.
A husband is one who waits patiently on his wife outside store trial rooms as she struts in front of him in ridiculous-looking garments. He is almost colour blind, doesn’t have the slightest idea of what a mega sleeve is, and doesn’t care a hoot for pin-tucks. Yet, he politely comments, knowing very well that the outfit he rejects will soon make its way home.
A husband is an eternal optimist. He fondles the TV remote, his thumb furtively caressing the mute button, his heart achingly longing for it to work equally well on his rambling and ranting wife.
A husband is one who doesn’t learn from years of experience that on return from work when he asks his wife, “how was your day?” he has prised open a Pandora’s box.
A husband is one who is blissfully unaware that when he buys his wife a bunch of flowers for no reason, she knows there is a reason.
A husband is adept at using four levels of listening – the first level is ignoring, the second is pretending. The third and the fourth levels are round two of the first and the second.
All said and done, I love husbands, particularly mine. As I pen off, I quote from one of my favourite authors, Erma Bombeck. “People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you’ll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.”