Alive is Awesome!
Alive is Awesome!
I have always been a risk-taker. I learnt it early on in life. It stems from my basic restlessness and my dying interest in everything. I tire easily with routine. I evade monotony like the plague. If I am doing the same thing three days in a row, I know that on the fourth, I am going to lose it! I keep craving for something new, something different.
Through my school and college years, my appetite was suitably satiated. Language, art, sports, drama, speech, horse-riding, travel, reading (including a sermon in church!), TV appearances…I have done all of it. Some I didn’t pursue, some come visiting once in a while.
Matrimony, I feared, would be too safe. But, thankfully my partner had a bigger appetite for risk and threw challenges at me like he threw darts on a dartboard. And he hit bulls-eye each time.
The risk-taking virus kept bugging us. We threw caution to the winds when we threw away our plush jobs and conceived two things almost simultaneously – our son and our own business outfit. Both are young adults now, strong and independent.
Then 40 closed in on us stealthily. And, the inevitable happened. The ‘what if’ question slowly crept on us and started gnawing at our insides. We started fearing insecurity. And soon, the fear of what might be grew to panic proportions. We started looking at anything out-of-the-ordinary as potential threat. Anything and everything became ‘too risky’ to venture into. The world became suspect in our jaundiced eyes.
The only way to breathe easy was to bring life a couple of notches lower. We tamed our life. Life fell back to a lazy, no, lethargic pace. EMIs (which were always a part of our growing up life) suddenly started occupying too much mind space. Family roles suddenly became responsibilities too heavy to handle. We staggered through the day carrying the cross of concerns, chores and more concerns. Guilt menacingly shadowed our every longing. Fear of the unknown numbed us. Monotony came calling and quickly called melancholy over for company.
Near and dear ones brushed off the emotional upheaval as normal, mid-life, hormone-imbalanced existence. Everyone goes through it, they said.
Even if it were normal, we were not prepared to sacrifice our life at the altar of fluctuating estrogens and testosterones.
We decided to stoke the embers of our risk-taking appetite. We rekindled the spark. We embraced nostalgia as we took a walk down memory lane, and we emerged only when we were sure we could do it again.
It is taking us a while to peel off the complacency, layer by layer. But, we are at it… and already the process is rejuvenating.
A treacherous and gruelling run in the mighty mountains of Ladakh, defying logic. A whirlwind tour across the country to bring women of substance between the covers of a book under construction. A course in screenplay writing. A fitness regimen (sonny included) to lubricate muscle and sinew for a low-budget backpacking jaunt in Europe next year. A refresher course in French to brush off the cobwebs. At curtain call is a class in Kathak, a cycling expedition and an Everest Base Camp!
The best part of the story is that office work, professional calling and home keeping seem more enticing now with the renewed enthusiasm for life. Life couldn’t get more exciting! We are alive, once again! Alive is Awesome!